The
Red Badge of Courage
Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
An Episode of the American Civil War
Chapter 1
The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the
retiring
fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills,
resting.
As the landscape changed from brown to green, the army
awakened,
and began to tremble with eagerness at the noise of
rumors.
It cast its eyes upon the roads, which were growing from
long
troughs of liquid mud to proper thoroughfares. A river,
amber-tinted in the shadow of its banks, purled at the
army's
feet; and at night, when the stream had become of a
sorrowful
blackness, one could see across it the red, eyelike gleam
of
hostile camp-fires set in the low brows of distant hills.
Once a certain tall soldier developed virtues and went
resolutely
to wash a shirt. He came flying back from a brook waving
his
garment bannerlike. He was swelled with a tale he had
heard from
a reliable friend, who had heard it from a truthful
cavalryman,
who had heard it from his trustworthy brother, one of the
orderlies at division headquarters. He adopted the
important air
of a herald in red and gold.
"We're goin' t' move t'morrah--sure," he said
pompously to a
group in the company street. "We're goin' 'way up
the river,
cut across, an' come around in behint 'em."
To his attentive audience he drew a loud and elaborate
plan of a
very brilliant campaign. When he had finished, the
blue-clothed
men scattered into small arguing groups between the rows
of squat
brown huts. A negro teamster who had been dancing upon a
cracker
box with the hilarious encouragement of twoscore soldiers
was deserted. He sat mournfully down. Smoke drifted
lazily from
a multitude of quaint chimneys.
"It's a lie! that's all it is--a thunderin'
lie!" said another
private loudly. His smooth face was flushed, and his
hands were
thrust sulkily into his trouser's pockets. He took the
matter as
an affront to him. "I don't believe the derned old
army's ever
going to move. We're set. I've got ready to move eight
times
in the last two weeks, and we ain't moved yet."
The tall soldier felT called upon to defend the truth of
a rumor
he himself had introduced. He and the loud one came near
to
fighting over it.
A corporal began to swear before the assemblage. He had
just put
a costly board floor in his house, he said. During the
early
spring he had refrained from adding extensively to the
comfort
of his environment because he had felt that the army
might start
on the march at any moment. Of late, however, he had been
impressed that they were in a sort of eternal camp.
Many of the men engaged in a spirited debate. One
outlined in a
peculiarly lucid manner all the plans of the commanding
general.
He was opposed by men who advocated that there were other
plans
of campaign. They clamored at each other, numbers making
futile
bids for the popular attention. Meanwhile, the soldier
who had
fetched the rumor bustled about with much importance. He
was
continually assailed by questions.
"What's up, Jim?"
"Th'army's goin' t' move."
"Ah, what yeh talkin' about? How yeh know it
is?"
"Well, yeh kin b'lieve me er not, jest as yeh like.
I don't care a hang."
There was much food for thought in the manner in which he
replied.
He came near to convincing them by disdaining to produce
proofs.
They grew much excited over it.
There was a youthful private who listened with eager ears
to the
words of the tall soldier and to the varied comments of
his comrades.
After receiving a fill of discussions concerning marches
and attacks,
he went to his hut and crawled through an intricate hole
that served
it as a door. He wished to be alone with some new
thoughts that had
lately come to him.
He lay down on a wide bunk that stretched across the end
of the room.
In the other end, cracker boxes were made to serve as
furniture.
They were grouped about the fireplace. A picture from an
illustrated
weekly was upon the log walls, and three rifles were
paralleled on pegs.
Equipments hung on handy projections, and some tin dishes
lay upon
a small pile of firewood. A folded tent was serving as a
roof.
The sunlight, without, beating upon it, made it glow a
light yellow shade.
A small window shot an oblique square of whiter light
upon the cluttered
floor. The smoke from the fire at times neglected the
clay chimney and
wreathed into the room, and this flimsy chimney of clay
and sticks
made endless threats to set ablaze the whole
establishment.
The youth was in a little trance of astonishment. So they
were
at last going to fight. On the morrow, perhaps, there
would be a
battle, and he would be in it. For a time he was obliged
to
labor to make himself believe. He could not accept with
assurance an omen that he was about to mingle in one of
those
great affairs of the earth.
He had, of course, dreamed of battles all his life--of
vague and
bloody conflicts that had thrilled him with their sweep
and fire.
In visions he had seen himself in many struggles. He had
imagined peoples secure in the shadow of his eagle-eyed
prowess.
But awake he had regarded battles as crimson blotches on
the
pages of the past. He had put them as things of the
bygone with
his thought-images of heavy crowns and high castles.
There was a
portion of the world's history which he had regarded as
the time
of wars, but it, he thought, had been long gone over the
horizon
and had disappeared forever.
From his home his youthful eyes had looked upon the war
in his
own country with distrust. It must be some sort of a play
affair.
He had long despaired of witnessing a Greeklike struggle.
Such
would be no more, he had said. Men were better, or more
timid.
Secular and religious education had effaced the
throat-grappling
instinct, or else firm finance held in check the
passions.
He had burned several times to enlist. Tales of great
movements
shook the land. They might not be distinctly Homeric, but
there
seemed to be much glory in them. He had read of marches,
sieges,
conflicts, and he had longed to see it all. His busy mind
had
drawn for him large pictures extravagant in color, lurid
with
breathless deeds.
But his mother had discouraged him. She had affected to
look
with some contempt upon the quality of his war ardor and
patriotism.
She could calmly seat herself and with no apparent
difficulty give
him many hundreds of reasons why he was of vastly more
importance
on the farm than on the field of battle. She had had
certain ways
of expression that told him that her statements on the
subject
came from a deep conviction. Moreover, on her side, was
his
belief that her ethical motive in the argument was
impregnable.
At last, however, he had made firm rebellion against this
yellow
light thrown upon the color of his ambitions. The
newspapers,
the gossip of the village, his own picturings, had
aroused him
to an uncheckable degree. They were in truth fighting
finely
down there. Almost every day the newspaper printed
accounts of a
decisive victory.
One night, as he lay in bed, the winds had carried to him
the
clangoring of the church bell as some enthusiast jerked
the
rope frantically to tell the twisted news of a great
battle.
This voice of the people rejoicing in the night had made
him shiver
in a prolonged ecstasy of excitement. Later, he had gone
down to
his mother's room and had spoken thus: "Ma, I'm
going to enlist."
"Henry, don't you be a fool," his mother had
replied. She had
then covered her face with the quilt. There was an end to
the
matter for that night.
Nevertheless, the next morning he had gone to a town that
was
near his mother's farm and had enlisted in a company that
was
forming there. When he had returned home his mother was
milking
the brindle cow. Four others stood waiting. "Ma,
I've enlisted,"
he had said to her diffidently. There was a short
silence.
"The Lord's will be done, Henry," she had
finally replied,
and had then continued to milk the brindle cow.
When he had stood in the doorway with his soldier's
clothes on
his back, and with the light of excitement and expectancy
in his
eyes almost defeating the glow of regret for the home
bonds, he had
seen two tears leaving their trails on his mother's
scarred cheeks.
Still, she had disappointed him by saying nothing
whatever about
returning with his shield or on it. He had privately
primed
himself for a beautiful scene. He had prepared certain
sentences
which he thought could be used with touching effect. But
her
words destroyed his plans. She had doggedly peeled
potatoes and
addressed him as follows: "You watch out, Henry, an'
take good
care of yerself in this here fighting business--you
watch, an'
take good care of yerself. Don't go a-thinkin' you can
lick the
hull rebel army at the start, because yeh can't. Yer jest
one
little feller amongst a hull lot of others, and yeh've
got to
keep quiet an' do what they tell yeh. I know how you are,
Henry.
"I've knet yeh eight pair of socks, Henry, and I've
put in all
yer best shirts, because I want my boy to be jest as warm
and
comf'able as anybody in the army. Whenever they get holes
in 'em,
I want yeh to send 'em right-away back to me, so's I kin
dern 'em.
"An' allus be careful an' choose yer comp'ny.
There's lots of
bad men in the army, Henry. The army makes 'em wild, and
they
like nothing better than the job of leading off a young
feller
like you, as ain't never been away from home much and has
allus
had a mother, an' a-learning 'em to drink and swear. Keep
clear
of them folks, Henry. I don't want yeh to ever do
anything,
Henry, that yeh would be 'shamed to let me know about.
Jest
think as if I was a-watchin' yeh. If yeh keep that in yer
mind
allus, I guess yeh'll come out about right.
"Yeh must allus remember yer father, too, child, an'
remember he never
drunk a drop of licker in his life, and seldom swore a
cross oath.
"I don't know what else to tell yeh, Henry,
excepting that yeh
must never do no shirking, child, on my account. If so be
a time
comes when yeh have to be kilt of do a mean thing, why,
Henry,
don't think of anything 'cept what's right, because
there's many
a woman has to bear up 'ginst sech things these times,
and the
Lord 'll take keer of us all.
"Don't forgit about the socks and the shirts, child;
and I've put
a cup of blackberry jam with yer bundle, because I know
yeh like
it above all things. Good-by, Henry. Watch out, and be a
good boy."
He had, of course, been impatient under the ordeal of
this speech.
It had not been quite what he expected, and he had borne
it with
an air of irritation. He departed feeling vague relief.
Still, when he had looked back from the gate, he had
seen his mother kneeling among the potato parings.
Her brown face, upraised, was stained with tears,
and her spare form was quivering. He bowed his head
and went on, feeling suddenly ashamed of his purposes.
From his home he had gone to the seminary to bid adieu to
many schoolmates. They had thronged about him with wonder
and admiration. He had felt the gulf now between them and
had swelled with calm pride. He and some of his fellows
who
had donned blue were quite overwhelmed with privileges
for
all of one afternoon, and it had been a very delicious
thing.
They had strutted.
A certain light-haired girl had made vivacious fun at his
martial
spirit, but there was another and darker girl whom he had
gazed
at steadfastly, and he thought she grew demure and sad at
sight
of his blue and brass. As he had walked down the path
between
the rows of oaks, he had turned his head and detected her
at a
window watching his departure. As he perceived her, she
had
immediately begun to stare up through the high tree
branches at
the sky. He had seen a good deal of flurry and haste in
her
movement as she changed her attitude. He often thought of
it.
On the way to Washington his spirit had soared. The
regiment was
fed and caressed at station after station until the youth
had
believed that he must be a hero. There was a lavish
expenditure
of bread and cold meats, coffee, and pickles and cheese.
As he
basked in the smiles of the girls and was patted and
complimented by the old men, he had felt growing within
him the
strength to do mighty deeds of arms.
After complicated journeyings with many pauses, there had
come
months of monotonous life in a camp. He had had the
belief that
real war was a series of death struggles with small time
in between
for sleep and meals; but since his regiment had come to
the field
the army had done little but sit still and try to keep
warm.
He was brought then gradually back to his old ideas.
Greeklike
struggles would be no more. Men were better, or more
timid.
Secular and religious education had effaced the
throat-grappling
instinct, or else firm finance held in check the
passions.
He had grown to regard himself merely as a part of a vast
blue
demonstration. His province was to look out, as far as he
could,
for his personal comfort. For recreation he could twiddle
his
thumbs and speculate on the thoughts which must agitate
the
minds of the generals. Also, he was drilled and drilled
and
reviewed, and drilled and drilled and reviewed.
The only foes he had seen were some pickets along the
river bank.
They were a sun-tanned, philosophical lot, who sometimes
shot
reflectively at the blue pickets. When reproached for
this
afterward, they usually expressed sorrow, and swore by
their
gods that the guns had exploded without their permission.
The
youth, on guard duty one night, conversed across the
stream with
one of them. He was a slightly ragged man, who spat
skillfully
between his shoes and possessed a great fund of bland and
infantile assurance. The youth liked him personally.
"Yank," the other had informed him, "yer a
right dum good feller."
This sentiment, floating to him upon the still air, had
made him
temporarily regret war.
Various veterans had told him tales. Some talked of gray,
bewhiskered hordes who were advancing with relentless
curses
and chewing tobacco with unspeakable valor; tremendous
bodies of
fierce soldiery who were sweeping along like the Huns.
Others
spoke of tattered and eternally hungry men who fired
despondent
powders. "They'll charge through hell's fire an'
brimstone t'
git a holt on a haversack, an' sech stomachs ain't
a'lastin'
long," he was told. From the stories, the youth
imagined the
red, live bones sticking out through slits in the faded
uniforms.
Still, he could not put a whole faith in veteran's tales,
for
recruits were their prey. They talked much of smoke,
fire,
and blood, but he could not tell how much might be lies.
They persistently yelled "Fresh fish!" at him,
and were
in no wise to be trusted.
However, he perceived now that it did not greatly matter
what
kind of soldiers he was going to fight, so long as they
fought,
which fact no one disputed. There was a more serious
problem.
He lay in his bunk pondering upon it. He tried to
mathematically
prove to himself that he would not run from a battle.
Previously he had never felt obliged to wrestle too
seriously
with this question. In his life he had taken certain
things for
granted, never challenging his belief in ultimate
success, and
bothering little about means and roads. But here he was
confronted with a thing of moment. It had suddenly
appeared to
him that perhaps in a battle he might run. He was forced
to
admit that as far as war was concerned he knew nothing of
himself.
A sufficient time before he would have allowed the
problem to
kick its heels at the outer portals of his mind, but now
he felt
compelled to give serious attention to it.
A little panic-fear grew in his mind. As his imagination
went
forward to a fight, he saw hideous possibilities. He
contemplated
the lurking menaces of the future, and failed in an
effort to
see himself standing stoutly in the midst of them. He
recalled
his visions of broken-bladed glory, but in the shadow of
the
impending tumult he suspected them to be impossible
pictures.
He sprang from the bunk and began to pace nervously to
and fro.
"Good Lord, what's th' matter with me?" he said
aloud.
He felt that in this crisis his laws of life were
useless.
Whatever he had learned of himself was here of no avail.
He was an unknown quantity. He saw that he would again be
obliged to experiment as he had in early youth. He must
accumulate information of himself, and meanwhile he
resolved
to remain close upon his guard lest those qualities of
which
he knew nothing should everlastingly disgrace him.
"Good Lord!"
he repeated in dismay.
After a time the tall soldier slid dexterously through
the hole.
The loud private followed. They were wrangling.
"That's all right," said the tall soldier as he
entered.
He waved his hand expressively. "You can believe me
or not,
jest as you like. All you got to do is sit down and wait
as
quiet as you can. Then pretty soon you'll find out I was
right."
His comrade grunted stubbornly. For a moment he seemed to
be
searching for a formidable reply. Finally he said:
"Well, you
don't know everything in the world, do you?"
"Didn't say I knew everything in the world,"
retorted the other sharply.
He began to stow various articles snugly into his
knapsack.
The youth, pausing in his nervous walk, looked down at
the busy
figure. "Going to be a battle, sure, is there,
Jim?" he asked.
"Of course there is," replied the tall soldier.
"Of course there is.
You jest wait 'til to-morrow, and you'll see one of the
biggest battles
ever was. You jest wait."
"Thunder!" said the youth.
"Oh, you'll see fighting this time, my boy, what'll
be regular
out-and-out fighting," added the tall soldier, with
the air of a
man who is about to exhibit a battle for the benefit of
his friends.
"Huh!" said the loud one from a corner.
"Well," remarked the youth, "like as not
this story'll turn out
jest like them others did."
"Not much it won't," replied the tall soldier,
exasperated.
"Not much it won't. Didn't the cavalry all start
this morning?"
He glared about him. No one denied his statement.
"The cavalry
started this morning," he continued. "They say
there ain't
hardly any cavalry left in camp. They're going to
Richmond,
or some place, while we fight all the Johnnies. It's some
dodge
like that. The regiment's got orders, too. A feller what
seen
'em go to headquarters told me a little while ago. And
they're
raising blazes all over camp--anybody can see that."
"Shucks!" said the loud one.
The youth remained silent for a time. At last he spoke to
the
tall soldier. "Jim!"
"What?"
"How do you think the reg'ment 'll do?"
"Oh, they'll fight all right, I guess, after they
once get into
it," said the other with cold judgment. He made a
fine use of
the third person. "There's been heaps of fun poked
at 'em
because they're new, of course, and all that; but they'll
fight
all right, I guess."
"Think any of the boys 'll run?" persisted the
youth.
"Oh, there may be a few of 'em run, but there's them
kind in
every regiment, 'specially when they first goes under
fire,"
said the other in a tolerant way. "Of course it
might happen
that the hull kit-and-boodle might start and run, if some
big
fighting came first-off, and then again they might stay
and fight
like fun. But you can't bet on nothing. Of course they
ain't
never been under fire yet, and it ain't likely they'll
lick the
hull rebel army all-to-oncet the first time; but I think
they'll
fight better than some, if worse than others. That's the
way I
figger. They call the reg'ment 'Fresh fish' and
everything; but
the boys come of good stock, and most of 'em 'll fight
like sin
after they oncet git shootin'," he added, with a
mighty emphasis
on the last four words.
"Oh, you think you know--" began the loud
soldier with scorn.
The other turned savagely upon him. They had a rapid
altercation, in which they fastened upon each other
various
strange epithets.
The youth at last interrupted them. "Did you ever
think you
might run yourself, Jim?" he asked. On concluding
the sentence
he laughed as if he had meant to aim a joke. The loud
soldier
also giggled.
The tall private waved his hand. "Well", said
he profoundly,
"I've thought it might get too hot for Jim Conklin
in some of
them scrimmages, and if a whole lot of boys started and
run,
why, I s'pose I'd start and run. And if I once started to
run,
I'd run like the devil, and no mistake. But if everybody
was
a-standing and a-fighting, why, I'd stand and fight. Be
jiminey,
I would. I'll bet on it."
"Huh!" said the loud one.
The youth of this tale felt gratitude for these words of
his
comrade. He had feared that all of the untried men
possessed
great and correct confidence. He now was in a measure
reassured.
Chapter 2
The next morning the youth discovered that his tall
comrade had
been the fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was
much
scoffing at the latter by those who had yesterday been
firm
adherents of his views, and there was even a little
sneering by
men who had never believed the rumor. The tall one fought
with a
man from Chatfield Corners and beat him severely.
The youth felt, however, that his problem was in no wise
lifted
from him. There was, on the contrary, an irritating
prolongation.
The tale had created in him a great concern for himself.
Now, with
the newborn question in his mind, he was compelled to
sink back
into his old place as part of a blue demonstration.
For days he made ceaseless calculations, but they were
all
wondrously unsatisfactory. He found that he could
establish
nothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove
himself
was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch
his
legs to discover their merits and faults. He reluctantly
admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental
slate and
pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze,
blood,
and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and
the
other. So he fretted for an opportunity.
Meanwhile, he continually tried to measure himself by his
comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some
assurance.
This man's serene unconcern dealt him a measure of
confidence,
for he had known him since childhood, and from his
intimate
knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of
anything
that was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that
his
comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other
hand,
he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and
obscurity, but,
in reality, made to shine in war.
The youth would have liked to have discovered another who
suspected himself. A sympathetic comparison of mental
notes
would have been a joy to him.
He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive
sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper
mood.
All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which
looked in
any way like a confession to those doubts which he
privately
acknowledged in himself. He was afraid to make an open
declaration of his concern, because he dreaded to place
some
unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the
unconfessed
from which elevation he could be derided.
In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two
opinions,
according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing
them
all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the
superior
development of the higher qualities in others. He could
conceive
of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing
a load
of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his
comrades
through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of
them had
been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these
theories, and
assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering
and quaking.
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men
who talked
excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were
about
to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity
apparent
in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be
liars.
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation
of himself.
He dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by
himself of many
shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring
at
what he considered the intolerable slowness of the
generals.
They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river
bank,
and leave him bowed down by the weight of a great
problem.
He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear
such
a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders
reached
an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a
veteran.
One morning, however, he found himself in the ranks of
his
prepared regiment. The men were whispering speculations
and
recounting the old rumors. In the gloom before the break
of the
day their uniforms glowed a deep purple hue. From across
the
river the red eyes were still peering. In the eastern sky
there
was a yellow patch like a rug laid for the feet of the
coming
sun; and against it, black and patternlike, loomed the
gigantic
figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse.
From off in the darkness came the trampling of feet. The
youth
could occasionally see dark shadows that moved like
monsters.
The regiment stood at rest for what seemed a long time.
The youth
grew impatient. It was unendurable the way these affairs
were managed.
He wondered how long they were to be kept waiting.
As he looked all about him and pondered upon the mystic
gloom,
he began to believe that at any moment the ominous
distance might
be aflare, and the rolling crashes of an engagement come
to his ears.
Staring once at the red eyes across the river, he
conceived them
to be growing larger, as the orbs of a row of dragons
advancing.
He turned toward the colonel and saw him lift his
gigantic arm
and calmly stroke his mustache.
At last he heard from along the road at the foot of the
hill the
clatter of a horse's galloping hoofs. It must be the
coming of orders.
He bent forward, scarce breathing. The exciting
clickety-click,
as it grew louder and louder, seemed to be beating upon
his soul.
Presently a horseman with jangling equipment drew rein
before the
colonel of the regiment. The two held a short,
sharp-worded conversation.
The men in the foremost ranks craned their necks.
As the horseman wheeled his animal and galloped away he
turned to
shout over his shoulder, "Don't forget that box of
cigars!"
The colonel mumbled in reply. The youth wondered what a
box
of cigars had to do with war.
A moment later the regiment went swinging off into the
darkness.
It was now like one of those moving monsters wending with
many feet.
The air was heavy, and cold with dew. A mass of wet
grass,
marched upon, rustled like silk.
There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from
the
backs of all these huge crawling reptiles. From the road
came
creakings and grumblings as some surly guns were dragged
away.
The men stumbled along still muttering speculations.
There was a
subdued debate. Once a man fell down, and as he reached
for his
rifle a comrade, unseeing, trod upon his hand. He of the
injured
fingers swore bitterly, and aloud. A low, tittering laugh
went
among his fellows.
Presently they passed into a roadway and marched forward
with
easy strides. A dark regiment moved before them, and from
behind
also came the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of
marching men.
The rushing yellow of the developing day went on behind
their backs.
When the sunrays at last struck full and mellowingly upon
the earth,
the youth saw that the landscape was streaked with two
long, thin,
black columns which disappeared on the brow of a hill in
front and
rearward vanished in a wood. They were like two serpents
crawling
from the cavern of the night.
The river was not in view. The tall soldier burst into
praises
of what he thought to be his powers of perception.
Some of the tall one's companions cried with emphasis
that they, too,
had evolved the same thing, and they congratulated
themselves upon it.
But there were others who said that the tall one's plan
was not the
true one at all. They persisted with other theories.
There was a
vigorous discussion.
The youth took no part in them. As he walked along in
careless
line he was engaged with his own eternal debate. He could
not
hinder himself from dwelling upon it. He was despondent
and
sullen, and threw shifting glances about him. He looked
ahead,
often expecting to hear from the advance the rattle of
firing.
But the long serpents crawled slowly from hill to hill
without
bluster of smoke. A dun-colored cloud of dust floated
away to
the right. The sky overhead was of a fairy blue.
The youth studied the faces of his companions, ever on
the watch
to detect kindred emotions. He suffered disappointment.
Some ardor of the air which was causing the veteran
commands to
move with glee--almost with song--had infected the new
regiment.
The men began to speak of victory as of a thing they
knew.
Also, the tall soldier received his vindication. They
were
certainly going to come around in behind the enemy. They
expressed
commiseration for that part of the army which had been
left upon the
river bank, felicitating themselves upon being a part of
a blasting host.
The youth, considering himself as separated from the
others,
was saddened by the blithe and merry speeches that went
from
rank to rank. The company wags all made their best
endeavors.
The regiment tramped to the tune of laughter.
The blatant soldier often convulsed whole files by his
biting
sarcasms aimed at the tall one.
And it was not long before all the men seemed to forget
their mission.
Whole brigades grinned in unison, and regiments laughed.
A rather fat soldier attempted to pilfer a horse from a
dooryard.
He planned to load his knapsack upon it. He was escaping
with
his prize when a young girl rushed from the house and
grabbed
the animal's mane. There followed a wrangle. The young
girl,
with pink cheeks and shining eyes, stood like a dauntless
statue.
The observant regiment, standing at rest in the roadway,
whooped
at once, and entered whole-souled upon the side of the
maiden.
The men became so engrossed in this affair that they
entirely
ceased to remember their own large war. They jeered the
piratical private, and called attention to various
defects in his
personal appearance; and they were wildly enthusiastic in
support
of the young girl.
To her, from some distance, came bold advice. "Hit
him with a stick."
There were crows and catcalls showered upon him when he
retreated
without the horse. The regiment rejoiced at his downfall.
Loud and
vociferous congratulations were showered upon the maiden,
who stood panting and regarding the troops with defiance.
At nightfall the column broke into regimental pieces, and
the fragments
went into the fields to camp. Tents sprang up like
strange plants.
Camp fires, like red, peculiar blossoms, dotted the
night.
The youth kept from intercourse with his companions as
much as
circumstances would allow him. In the evening he wandered
a few
paces into the gloom. From this little distance the many
fires,
with the black forms of men passing to and fro before the
crimson rays, made weird and satanic effects.
He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed tenderly
against
his cheek. The moon had been lighted and was hung in a
treetop.
The liquid stillness of the night enveloping him made him
feel
vast pity for himself. There was a caress in the soft
winds;
and the whole mood of the darkness, he thought, was one
of
sympathy for himself in his distress.
He wished, without reserve, that he was at home again
making the
endless rounds from the house to the barn, from the barn
to the
fields, from the fields to the barn, from the barn to the
house.
He remembered he had so often cursed the brindle cow and
her
mates, and had sometimes flung milking stools. But, from
his
present point of view, there was a halo of happiness
about each
of their heads, and he would have sacrificed all the
brass
buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return
to them.
He told himself that he was not formed for a soldier. And
he
mused seriously upon the radical differences between
himself and
those men who were dodging implike around the fires.
As he mused thus he heard the rustle of grass, and, upon
turning
his head, discovered the loud soldier. He called out,
"Oh, Wilson!"
The latter approached and looked down. "Why, hello,
Henry; is it you?
What are you doing here?"
"Oh, thinking," said the youth.
The other sat down and carefully lighted his pipe.
"You're getting
blue my boy. You're looking thundering peek-ed. What the
dickens
is wrong with you?"
"Oh, nothing," said the youth.
The loud soldier launched then into the subject of the
anticipated fight. "Oh, we've got 'em now!" As
he spoke
his boyish face was wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his
voice had an exultant ring. "We've got 'em now. At
last,
by the eternal thunders, we'll like 'em good!"
"If the truth was known," he added, more
soberly,
"they've licked US about every clip up to now;
but this time--this time--we'll lick 'em good!"
"I thought you was objecting to this march a little
while ago,"
said the youth coldly.
"Oh, it wasn't that," explained the other.
"I don't mind
marching, if there's going to be fighting at the end of
it.
What I hate is this getting moved here and moved there,
with
no good coming of it, as far as I can see, excepting sore
feet
and damned short rations."
"Well, Jim Conklin says we'll get plenty of fighting
this time."
"He's right for once, I guess, though I can't see
how it come.
This time we're in for a big battle, and we've got the
best end
of it, certain sure. Gee rod! how we will thump 'em!"
He arose and began to pace to and fro excitedly. The
thrill
of his enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic step. He
was
sprightly, vigorous, fiery in his belief in success. He
looked
into the future with clear proud eye, and he swore with
the air
of an old soldier.
The youth watched him for a moment in silence. When he
finally
spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs. "Oh, you're
going to do
great things, I s'pose!"
The loud soldier blew a thoughtful cloud of smoke from
his pipe.
"Oh, I don't know," he remarked with dignity;
"I don't know.
I s'pose I'll do as well as the rest. I'm going to try
like thunder." He evidently complimented himself
upon
the modesty of this statement.
"How do you know you won't run when the time
comes?" asked the youth.
"Run?" said the loud one; "run?--of course
not!" He laughed.
"Well," continued the youth, "lots of
good-a-'nough men have
thought they was going to do great things before th
fight,
but when the time come they skedaddled."
"Oh, that's all true, I s'pose," replied the
other; "but I'm not
going to skedaddle. The man that bets on my running will
lose
his money, that's all." He nodded confidently.
"Oh, shucks!" said the youth. "You ain't
the bravest man in
the world, are you?"
"No, I ain't," exclaimed the loud soldier
indignantly;
"and I didn't say I was the bravest man in the
world, neither.
I said I was going to do my share of fighting--that's
what I said.
And I am, too. Who are you, anyhow? You talk as if you
thought
you was Napoleon Bonaparte." He glared at the youth
for a moment,
and then strode away.
The youth called in a savage voice after his comrade:
"Well, you
needn't git mad about it!" But the other continued
on his way
and made no reply.
He felt alone in space when his injured comrade had
disappeared.
His failure to discover any mite of resemblance in their
viewpoints
made him more miserable than before. No one seemed to be
wrestling
with such a terrific personal problem. He was a mental
outcast.
He went slowly to his tent and stretched himself on a
blanket by
the side of the snoring tall soldier. In the darkness he
saw
visions of a thousand-tongued fear that would babble at
his back
and cause him to flee, while others were going coolly
about
their country's business. He admitted that he would not
be able
to cope with this monster. He felt that every nerve in
his body
would be an ear to hear the voices, while other men would
remain
stolid and deaf.
And as he sweated with the pain of these thoughts, he
could hear
low, serene sentences. "I'll bid five."
"Make it six." "Seven."
"Seven goes."
He stared at the red, shivering reflection of a fire on
the white
wall of his tent until, exhausted and ill from the
monotony of
his suffering, he fell asleep.
Chapter 3
When another night came, the columns, changed to purple
streaks,
filed across two pontoon bridges. A glaring fire
wine-tinted the
waters of the river. Its rays, shining upon the moving
masses of troops,
brought forth here and there sudden gleams of silver or
gold.
Upon the other shore a dark and mysterious range of hills
was curved
against the sky. The insect voices of the night sang
solemnly.
After this crossing the youth assured himself that at any
moment
they might be suddenly and fearfully assaulted from the
caves of
the lowering woods. He kept his eyes watchfully upon the
darkness.
But his regiment went unmolested to a camping place, and
its
soldiers slept the brave sleep of wearied men. In the
morning
they were routed out with early energy, and hustled along
a
narrow road that led deep into the forest.
It was during this rapid march that the regiment lost
many of the
marks of a new command.
The men had begun to count the miles upon their fingers,
and
they grew tired. "Sore feet an' damned short
rations, that's all,"
said the loud soldier. There was perspiration and
grumblings.
After a time they began to shed their knapsacks. Some
tossed
them unconcernedly down; others hid them carefully,
asserting
their plans to return for them at some convenient time.
Men extricated themselves from thick shirts. Presently
few carried
anything but their necessary clothing, blankets,
haversacks,
canteens, and arms and ammunition. "You can now eat
and shoot,"
said the tall soldier to the youth. "That's all you
want to do."
There was sudden change from the ponderous infantry of
theory
to the light and speedy infantry of practice. The
regiment,
relieved of a burden, received a new impetus. But there
was much
loss of valuable knapsacks, and, on the whole, very good
shirts.
But the regiment was not yet veteranlike in appearance.
Veteran
regiments in the army were likely to be very small
aggregations
of men. Once, when the command had first come to the
field,
some perambulating veterans, noting the length of their
column,
had accosted them thus: "Hey, fellers, what brigade
is that?"
And when the men had replied that they formed a regiment
and not
a brigade, the older soldiers had laughed, and said,
"O Gawd!"
Also, there was too great a similarity in the hats. The
hats of
a regiment should properly represent the history of
headgear for
a period of years. And, moreover, there were no letters
of faded
gold speaking from the colors. They were new and
beautiful, and
the color bearer habitually oiled the pole.
Presently the army again sat down to think. The odor of
the
peaceful pines was in the men's nostrils. The sound of
monotonous axe blows rang through the forest, and the
insects,
nodding upon their perches, crooned like old women. The
youth
returned to his theory of a blue demonstration.
One gray dawn, however, he was kicked in the leg by the
tall soldier, and then, before he was entirely awake, he
found
himself running down a wood road in the midst of men who
were
panting from the first effects of speed. His canteen
banged
rythmically upon his thigh, and his haversack bobbed
softly.
His musket bounced a trifle from his shoulder at each
stride
and made his cap feel uncertain upon his head.
He could hear the men whisper jerky sentences:
"Say--what's all
this--about?" "What th' thunder--we--skedaddlin'
this way fer?"
"Billie--keep off m' feet. Yeh run--like a
cow." And the loud
soldier's shrill voice could be heard: "What
th'devil they in
sich a hurry for?"
The youth thought the damp fog of early morning moved
from
the rush of a great body of troops. From the distance
came
a sudden spatter of firing.
He was bewildered. As he ran with his comrades he
strenuously
tried to think, but all he knew was that if he fell down
those
coming behind would tread upon him. All his faculties
seemed
to be needed to guide him over and past obstructions. He
felt
carried along by a mob.
The sun spread disclosing rays, and, one by one,
regiments burst
into view like armed men just born of the earth. The
youth
perceived that the time had come. He was about to be
measured.
For a moment he felt in the face of his great trial like
a babe,
and the flesh over his heart seemed very thin. He seized
time to
look about him calculatingly.
But he instantly saw that it would be impossible for him
to
escape from the regiment. It inclosed him. And there were
iron
laws of tradition and law on four sides. He was in a
moving box.
As he perceived this fact it occurred to him that he had
never
wished to come to the war. He had not enlisted of his
free will.
He had been dragged by the merciless government. And now
they
were taking him out to be slaughtered.
The regiment slid down a bank and wallowed across a
little stream.
The mournful current moved slowly on, and from the water,
shaded black, some white bubble eyes looked at the men.
As they climbed the hill on the farther side artillery
began to boom.
Here the youth forgot many things as he felt a sudden
impulse of curiosity.
He scrambled up the bank with a speed that could not be
exceeded by a
bloodthirsty man.
He expected a battle scene.
There were some little fields girted and squeezed by a
forest.
Spread over the grass and in among the tree trunks, he
could see
knots and waving lines of skirmishers who were running
hither and
thither and firing at the landscape. A dark battle line
lay upon
a sunstruck clearing that gleamed orange color. A flag
fluttered.
Other regiments floundered up the bank. The brigade was
formed
in line of battle, and after a pause started slowly
through
the woods in the rear of the receding skirmishers, who
were
continually melting into the scene to appear again
farther on.
They were always busy as bees, deeply absorbed in their
little combats.
The youth tried to observe everything. He did not use
care to
avoid trees and branches, and his forgotten feet were
constantly
knocking against stones or getting entangled in briers.
He was
aware that these battalions with their commotions were
woven red
and startling into the gentle fabric of softened greens
and browns.
It looked to be a wrong place for a battle field.
The skirmishers in advance fascinated him. Their shots
into
thickets and at distant and prominent trees spoke to him
of
tragedies--hidden, mysterious, solemn.
Once the line encountered the body of a dead soldier. He
lay
upon his back staring at the sky. He was dressed in an
awkward
suit of yellowish brown. The youth could see that the
soles of
his shoes had been worn to the thinness of writing paper,
and
from a great rent in one the dead foot projected
piteously. And
it was as if fate had betrayed the soldier. In death it
exposed
to his enemies that poverty which in life he had perhaps
concealed
from his friends.
The ranks opened covertly to avoid the corpse. The
invulnerable
dead man forced a way for himself. The youth looked
keenly at
the ashen face. The wind raised the tawny beard. It moved
as if
a hand were stroking it. He vaguely desired to walk
around and
around the body and stare; the impulse of the living to
try to
read in dead eyes the answer to the Question.
During the march the ardor which the youth had acquired
when out
of view of the field rapidly faded to nothing. His
curiosity was
quite easily satisfied. If an intense scene had caught
him with
its wild swing as he came to the top of the bank, he
might have
gone gone roaring on. This advance upon Nature was too
calm.
He had opportunity to reflect. He had time in which to
wonder
about himself and to attempt to probe his sensations.
Absurd ideas took hold upon him. He thought that he did
not
relish the landscape. It threatened him. A coldness swept
over
his back, and it is true that his trousers felt to him
that they
were no fit for his legs at all.
A house standing placidly in distant fields had to him an
ominous look.
The shadows of the woods were formidable. He was certain
that in this
vista there lurked fierce-eyed hosts. The swift thought
came to him
that the generals did not know what they were about. It
was all a trap.
Suddenly those close forests would bristle with rifle
barrels.
Ironlike brigades would appear in the rear. They were all
going
to be sacrificed. The generals were stupids. The enemy
would
presently swallow the whole command. He glared about him,
expecting to see the stealthy approach of his death.
He thought that he must break from the ranks and harangue
his comrades.
They must not all be killed like pigs; and he was sure it
would come to
pass unless they were informed of these dangers. The
generals were
idiots to send them marching into a regular pen. There
was but one
pair of eyes in the corps. He would step forth and make a
speech.
Shrill and passionate words came to his lips.
The line, broken into moving fragments by the ground,
went calmly on
through fields and woods. The youth looked at the men
nearest him,
and saw, for the most part, expressions of deep interest,
as if
they were investigating something that had fascinated
them.
One or two stepped with overvaliant airs as if they were
already plunged into war. Others walked as upon thin ice.
The greater part of the untested men appeared quiet and
absorbed.
They were going to look at war, the red animal--war, the
blood-swollen god.
And they were deeply engrossed in this march.
As he looked the youth gripped his outcry at his throat.
He saw that even if the men were tottering with fear they
would
laugh at his warning. They would jeer him, and, if
practicable,
pelt him with missiles. Admitting that he might be wrong,
a frenzied declamation of the kind would turn him into a
worm.
He assumed, then, the demeanor of one who knows that he
is doomed
alone to unwritten responsibilities. He lagged, with
tragic
glances at the sky.
He was surprised presently by the young lieutenant of his
company,
who began heartily to beat him with a sword, calling out
in a loud
and insolent voice: "Come, young man, get up into
ranks there.
No skulking 'll do here." He mended his pace with
suitable haste.
And he hated the lieutenant, who had no appreciation of
fine minds.
He was a mere brute.
After a time the brigade was halted in the cathedral
light of a forest.
The busy skirmishers were still popping. Through the
aisles of the
wood could be seen the floating smoke from their rifles.
Sometimes it went up in little balls, white and compact.
During this halt many men in the regiment began erecting
tiny hills
in front of them. They used stones sticks, earth, and
anything
they thought might turn a bullet. Some built
comparatively
large ones, while others seems content with little ones.
This procedure caused a discussion among the men. Some
wished to
fight like duelists, believing it to be correct to stand
erect and be,
from their feet to their foreheads, a mark. They said
they scorned
the devices of the cautious. But the others scoffed in
reply,
and pointed to the veterans on the flanks who were
digging at the
ground like terriers. In a short time there was quite a
barricade
along the regimental fronts. Directly, however, they were
ordered
to withdraw from that place.
This astounded the youth. He forgot his stewing over the
advance movement. "Well, then, what did they march
us out here for?"
he demanded of the tall soldier. The latter with calm
faith began
a heavy explanation, although he had been compelled to
leave a
little protection of stones and dirt to which he had
devoted
much care and skill.
When the regiment was aligned in another position each
man's
regard for his safety caused another line of small
intrenchments.
They ate their noon meal behind a third one. They were
moved from
this one also. They were marched from place to place with
apparent
aimlessness.
The youth had been taught that a man became another thing
in
battle. He saw his salvation in such a change. Hence this
waiting was an ordeal to him. He was in a fever of
impatience.
He considered that there was denoted a lack of purpose on
the
part of the generals. He began to complain to the tall
soldier.
"I can't stand this much longer," he cried.
"I don't see what
good it does to make us wear out our legs for nothin'."
He wished
to return to camp, knowing that this affair was a blue
demonstration;
or else to go into a battle and discover that he had been
a fool
in his doubts, and was, in truth, a man of traditional
courage.
The strain of present circumstances he felt to be
intolerable.
The philosophical tall soldier measured a sandwich of
cracker and
pork and swallowed it in a nonchalant manner. "Oh, I
suppose we
must go reconnoitering around the country jest to keep 'em
from
getting too close, or to develop 'em, or something."
"Huh!" said the loud soldier.
"Well," cried the youth, still fidgeting,
"I'd rather do anything
'most than go tramping 'round the country all day doing
no good
to nobody and jest tiring ourselves out."
"So would I," said the loud soldier. "It
ain't right. I tell
you if anybody with any sense was a-runnin' this army
it--"
"Oh, shut up!" roared the tall private.
"You little fool. You
little damn' cuss. You ain't had that there coat and them
pants
on for six months, and yet you talk as if--"
"Well, I wanta do some fighting anyway,"
interrupted the other.
"I didn't come here to walk. I could 'ave walked to
home -
'round an' 'round the barn, if I jest wanted to
walk."
The tall one, red-faced, swallowed another sandwich as if
taking
poison in despair.
But gradually, as he chewed, his face became again quiet
and
contented. He could not rage in fierce argument in the
presence
of such sandwiches. During his meals he always wore an
air of
blissful contemplation of the food he had swallowed. His
spirit
seemed then to be communing with the viands.
He accepted new environment and circumstance with great
coolness,
eating from his haversack at every opportunity. On the
march he
went along with the stride of a hunter, objecting to
neither
gait nor distance. And he had not raised his voice when
he had
been ordered away from three little protective piles of
earth
and stone, each of which had been an engineering feat
worthy of
being made sacred to the name of his grandmother.
In the afternoon, the regiment went out over the same
ground it
had taken in the morning. The landscape then ceased to
threaten
the youth. He had been close to it and become familiar
with it.
When, however, they began to pass into a new region, his
old fears
of stupidity and incompetence reassailed him, but this
time
he doggedly let them babble. He was occupied with his
problem,
and in his deperation he concluded that the stupidity did
not
greatly matter.
Once he thought he had concluded that it would be better
to get
killed directly and end his troubles. Regarding death
thus out
of the corner of his eye, he conceived it to be nothing
but rest,
and he was filled with a momentary astonishment that he
should have
made an extraordinary commotion over the mere matter of
getting killed.
He would die; he would go to some place where he would be
understood.
It was useless to expect appreciation of his profound and
fine sense from
such men as the lieutenant. He must look to the grave for
comprehension.
The skirmish fire increased to a long clattering sound.
With it
was mingled far-away cheering. A battery spoke.
Directly the youth could see the skirmishers running.
They were
pursued by the sound of musketry fire. After a time the
hot,
dangerous flashes of the rifles were visible. Smoke
clouds went
slowly and insolently across the fields like observant
phantoms.
The din became crescendo, like the roar of an oncoming
train.
A brigade ahead of them and on the right went into action
with a
rending roar. It was as if it had exploded. And
thereafter it
lay stretched in the distance behind a long gray wall,
that one
was obliged to look twice at to make sure that it was
smoke.
The youth, forgetting his neat plan of getting killed,
gazed spell bound.
His eyes grew wide and busy with the action of the scene.
His mouth was
a little ways open.
Of a sudden he felt a heavy and sad hand laid upon his
shoulder.
Awakening from his trance of observation he turned and
beheld
the loud soldier.
"It's my first and last battle, old boy," said
the latter, with
intense gloom. He was quite pale and his girlish lip was
trembling.
"Eh?" murmured the youth in great astonishment.
"It's my first and last battle, old boy,"
continued the loud
soldier. "Something tells me--"
"What?"
"I'm a gone coon this first time and--and I w-want
you to take
these here things--to--my--folks." He ended in a
quavering
sob of pity for himself. He handed the youth a little
packet
done up in a yellow envelope.
"Why, what the devil--" began the youth again.
But the other gave him a glance as from the depths of a
tomb,
and raised his limp hand in a prophetic manner and turned
away.
Chapter 4
The brigade was halted in the fringe of a grove. The men
crouched
among the trees and pointed their restless guns out at
the fields.
They tried to look beyond the smoke.
Out of this haze they could see running men. Some shouted
information and gestured as the hurried.
The men of the new regiment watched and listened eagerly,
while their tongues ran on in gossip of the battle.
They mouthed rumors that had flown like birds out of the
unknown.
"They say Perry has been driven in with big
loss."
"Yes, Carrott went t' th' hospital. He said he was
sick. That
smart lieutenant is commanding 'G' Company. Th' boys say
they
won't be under Carrott no more if they all have t'
desert.
They allus knew he was a--"
"Hannises' batt'ry is took."
"It ain't either. I saw Hannises' batt'ry off on th'
left not
more'n fifteen minutes ago."
"Well--"
"Th' general, he ses he is goin' t' take th' hull
command of th'
304th when we go inteh action, an' then he ses we'll do
sech
fightin' as never another one reg'ment done."
"They say we're catchin' it over on th' left. They
say th' enemy
driv' our line inteh a devil of a swamp an' took Hannises'
batt'ry."
"No sech thing. Hannises' batt'ry was 'long here
'bout a minute ago."
"That young Hasbrouck, he makes a good off'cer. He
ain't afraid
'a nothin'."
"I met one of th' 148th Maine boys an' he ses his
brigade fit
th' hull rebel army fer four hours over on th' turnpike
road an'
killed about five thousand of 'em. He ses one more sech
fight
as that an' th' war 'll be over."
"Bill wasn't scared either. No, sir! It wasn't that.
Bill ain't
a-gittin' scared easy. He was jest mad, that's what he
was.
When that feller trod on his hand, he up an' sed that he
was
willin' t' give his hand t' his country, but he be dumbed
if he
was goin' t' have every dumb bushwhacker in th' kentry
walkin'
'round on it. So he went t' th' hospital disregardless of
th' fight.
Three fingers was crunched. Th' dern doctor wanted t'
amputate 'm,
an' Bill, he raised a heluva row, I hear. He's a funny
feller."
The din in front swelled to a tremendous chorus. The
youth and
his fellows were frozen to silence. They could see a flag
that
tossed in the smoke angrily. Near it were the blurred and
agitated forms of troops. There came a turbulent stream
of men
across the fields. A battery changing position at a
frantic
gallop scattered the stragglers right and left.
A shell screaming like a storm banshee went over the
huddled heads
of the reserves. It landed in the grove, and exploding
redly
flung the brown earth. There was a little shower of pine
needles.
Bullets began to whistle among the branches and nip at
the trees.
Twigs and leaves came sailing down. It was as if a
thousand axes,
wee and invisible, were being wielded. Many of the men
were
constantly dodging and ducking their heads.
The lieutenant of the youth's company was shot in the
hand.
He began to swear so wondrously that a nervous laugh went
along the
regimental line. The officer's profanity sounded
conventional.
It relieved the tightened senses of the new men. It was
as if he
had hit his fingers with a tack hammer at home.
He held the wounded member carefully away from his side
so that
the blood would not drip upon his trousers.
The captain of the company, tucking his sword under his
arm,
produced a handkerchief and began to bind with it the
lieutenant's wound. And they disputed as to how the
binding should be done.
The battle flag in the distance jerked about madly. It
seemed to
be struggling to free itself from an agony. The billowing
smoke
was filled with horizontal flashes.
Men rushing swiftly emerged from it. They grew in numbers
until
it was seen that the whole command was fleeing. The flag
suddenly
sank down as if dying. Its motion as it fell was a
gesture of despair.
Wild yells came from behind the walls of smoke. A sketch
in gray
and red dissolved into a moblike body of men who galloped
like
wild horses. The veteran regiments on the right and left
of the
304th immediately began to jeer. With the passionate song
of
the bullets and the banshee shrieks of shells were
mingled loud
catcalls and bits of facetious advice concerning places
of safety.
But the new regiment was breathless with horror. "Gawd!
Saunders's got crushed!" whispered the man at the
youth's elbow.
They shrank back and crouched as if compelled to await a
flood.
The youth shot a swift glance along the blue ranks of the
regiment.
The profiles were motionless, carven; and afterward he
remembered
that the color sergeant was standing with his legs apart,
as if he expected to be pushed to the ground.
The following throng went whirling around the flank. Here
and there
were officers carried along on the stream like
exasperated chips.
They were striking about them with their swords and with
their
left fists, punching every head they could reach. They
cursed
like highwaymen.
A mounted officer displayed the furious anger of a
spoiled child.
He raged with his head, his arms, and his legs.
Another, the commander of the brigade, was galloping
about bawling.
His hat was gone and his clothes were awry. He resembled
a man
who has come from bed to go to a fire. The hoofs of his
horse
often threatened the heads of the running men, but they
scampered
with singular fortune. In this rush they were apparently
all
deaf and blind. They heeded not the largest and longest
of the
oaths that were thrown at them from all directions.
Frequently over this tumult could be heard the grim jokes
of the
critical veterans; but the retreating men apparently were
not
even conscious of the presence of an audience.
The battle reflection that shone for an instant in the
faces on
the mad current made the youth feel that forceful hands
from
heaven would not have been able to have held him in place
if
he could have got intelligent control of his legs.
There was an appalling imprint upon these faces. The
struggle in
the smoke had pictured an exaggeration of itself on the
bleached
cheeks and in the eyes wild with one desire.
The sight of this stampede exerted a floodlike force that
seemed able
to drag sticks and stones and men from the ground. They
of the reserves
had to hold on. They grew pale and firm, and red and
quaking.
The youth achieved one little thought in the midst of
this chaos.
The composite monster which had caused the other troops
to flee
had not then appeared. He resolved to get a view of it,
and then,
he thought he might very likely run better than the best
of them.
Chapter 5
There were moments of waiting. The youth thought of the
village
street at home before the arrival of the circus parade on
a
day in the spring. He remembered how he had stood, a
small,
thrillful boy, prepared to follow the dingy lady upon the
white
horse, or the band in its faded chariot. He saw the
yellow road,
the lines of expectant people, and the sober houses.
He particularly remembered an old fellow who used to sit
upon a cracker box in front of the store and feign to
despise
such exhibitions. A thousand details of color and form
surged
in his mind. The old fellow upon the cracker box appeared
in
middle prominence.
Some one cried, "Here they come!"
There was rustling and muttering among the men. They
displayed a
feverish desire to have every possible cartridge ready to
their hands.
The boxes were pulled around into various positions, and
adjusted
with great care. It was as if seven hundred new bonnets
were
being tried on.
The tall soldier, having prepared his rifle, produced a
red
handkerchief of some kind. He was engaged in knotting it
about
his throat with exquisite attention to its position, when
the cry
was repeated up and down the line in a muffled roar of
sound.
"Here they come! Here they come!" Gun locks
clicked.
Across the smoke-infested fields came a brown swarm of
running
men who were giving shrill yells. They came on, stooping
and
swinging their rifles at all angles. A flag, tilted
forward,
sped near the front.
As he caught sight of them the youth was momentarily
startled by
a thought that perhaps his gun was not loaded. He stood
trying
to rally his faltering intellect so that he might
recollect the
moment when he had loaded, but he could not.
A hatless general pulled his dripping horse to a stand
near the
colonel of the 304th. He shook his fist in the other's
face.
"You've got to hold 'em back!" he shouted,
savagely; "you've got
to hold 'em back!"
In his agitation the colonel began to stammer.
"A-all r-right,
General, all right, by Gawd! We-we 'll do our--we-we 'll
d-d-do-do
our best, General." The general made a passionate
gesture and
galloped away. The colonel, perchance to relieve his
feelings,
began to scold like a wet parrot. The youth, turning
swiftly
to make sure that the rear was unmolested, saw the
commander
regarding his men in a highly resentful manner, as if he
regretted above everything his association with them.
The man at the youth's elbow was mumbling, as if to
himself:
"Oh, we 're in for it now! oh, we 're in for it
now!"
The captain of the company had been pacing excitedly to
and fro
in the rear. He coaxed in schoolmistress fashion, as to a
congregation of boys with primers. His talk was an
endless
repetition. "Reserve your fire, boys--don't shoot
till I tell
you--save your fire--wait till they get close up--don't
be
damned fools--"
Perspiration streamed down the youth's face, which was
soiled like
that of a weeping urchin. He frequently, with a nervous
movement,
wiped his eyes with his coat sleeve. His mouth was still
a
little ways ope.
He got the one glance at the foe-swarming field in front
of him,
and instantly ceased to debate the question of his piece
being loaded.
Before he was ready to begin--before he had announced
to himself that he was about to fight--he threw the
obedient
well-balanced rifle into position and fired a first wild
shot.
Directly he was working at his weapon like an automatic
affair.
He suddenly lost concern for himself, and forgot to look
at a
menacing fate. He became not a man but a member. He felt
that
something of which he was a part--a regiment, an army, a
cause,
or a country--was in crisis. He was welded into a common
personality which was dominated by a single desire.
For some moments he could not flee no more than a
little finger can commit a revolution from a hand.
If he had thought the regiment was about to be
annihilated
perhaps he could have amputated himself from it. But its
noise
gave him assurance. The regiment was like a firework
that,
once ignited, proceeds superior to circumstances until
its
blazing vitality fades. It wheezed and banged with a
mighty power.
He pictured the ground before it as strewn with the
discomfited.
There was a consciousness always of the presence of his
comrades